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The working defintion of WILLINGNESS according to Iyanla is:

The working definition of MEDITATION according to Iyanla is:

Today's principle is PRAYER.  Iyanla's working definition of Prayer is:

"PRAYER is a form of communion.  It is the method of communication between man and the Divine.  An inward exploration undertaken to cleanse and perfect consciousness.  An act of reaching in to the Higher Self."

Today's principle is TRUST.  Iyanla's working definition of TRUST:

Today's principle is TRUTH.  Iyanla's working definition of TRUTH:

1. God is Life.  God is Spirit.  God is Mind.  God is the only power that controls life, spirit, and mind.
2. God is within you and every living thing.  Translated this means that everything living is a unique representation of God's identity - mind, spirit, and life.
3. God does not punish us.  We punish ourselves with guilt, shame, and fear when we choose not to act in concert with our inherently divine nature.
4. There is a Divine Order to everything in life.  It is for this reason that exactly where you are at any given time in life is exactly where you should be according to the Divine unfolding in your consciousness and life.

I have been given a wonderful opportunity to open myself up and find my soul.  For over a year, with the last five months being the worst, I have been having chronic daily migraine with many of the so disabling that breathing was a challenge.  The constant pain was wearing me down to almost nothing.  I was turning into a frail and brittle version of myself, beaten down and overtaken by pain.  It was seriously affecting my self-esteem and confidence in ever feeling happy again in my life.  


As I was venting during one of my counseling sessions, my counselor Kelley suggested a book to me with daily exercises.  This book was Iyanla Vanzant's One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth.  I welcomed it with open arms.  Mostly because I just LOVE Iyanla and her no nonsense way about speaking the truth most people spend their life avoiding.  She is very inspirational to me and if what she says in this book is going to help pull me out of the deep, dark hole of guilt, shame and hopelessness that I'm in now, then I'm going all the way in.


I decided to document what I learn as I go through each of the 40 days and nights and hopefully what I learn about myself can help inspire others who are living lives of chronic pain and illness to do the same.  Despair does not have to be what we have accepted as fate but instead opening up and rising above the pain.  Each day I'll share the answers to the questions for each new principle learned and document my journey towards spiritual strength and personal growth.

• You develop a heightened response to pain signals
• The part of your brain that suppresses pain signals isn't working properly

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Sleep disturbances
• Obesity
• Snoring
• Overuse of caffeine
• Overuse of pain medications
• Regular use of positions that cause strain on the head or neck

According to the American Academy of Pain Medicine respondents of a National Institute of Health Statistics survey indicated that low back pain was the most common (27%), followed by severe headache or migraine pain (15%), neck pain (15%) and facial ache or pain (4%).  Pain affects more Americans than diabetes, heart disease and cancer combined, as shown in the chart below:

• Women were more likely to experience pain (in the form of migraines, neck pain, lower back pain, or face or jaw pain) than men. Women were twice as likely to experience migraines or severe headaches, or pain in the face or jaw, than men.
• The percentage of person experiencing migraines or severe headaches was inversely related to age. Twenty percent adults aged 18-44 years experienced a migraine or severe headache in the 3 months prior to the interview compared with 15% of adults aged 45-64, 7% of adults aged 65-74, and 6% of adults aged 75 and over.
• Adults aged 18-44 years were less likely to have experienced pain in the lower back during the 3 months prior to the interview compared with older adults.
• When results are considered by singe race without regard to ethnicity, Asian adults were less likely to have pain in the lower back compared to white adults, black adults, and American Indian or Alaska Native (AIAN) adults.
• Adults with a bachelor’s degree or higher were less likely to have migraine headaches, neck pain, lower back pain, or pain in the face or jaw, compared to adults who did not graduate from high school.
• Adults in poor and near poor families were more likely to experience migraine headaches, neck pain, lower back pain, or pain in the face or jaw in the 3 months prior to the interview than were adults in families that were not poor.
• Among adults under age 65, those covered by Medicaid were more likely to have migraine headaches, neck pain, lower back pain, or pain the face or jaw than those with private insurance or those who were uninsured. Among adults aged 65 and over, those covered by Medicaid and Medicare were more likely to have migraine headaches, neck pain, lower back pain, or pain in the face or jaw than those with private insurance or only Medicare health care coverage.

As we enter into the second day of National Suicide Prevention Week (September 4 - September 10, 2011) I felt the need to readdress the subject of suicide in respect to migraine.  Today is a particularly hard day for me.  I have finally felt my spirit break last night by the ongoing daily pain that has a choke hold on my life.  I don't want to end my life but I'm so tired of it all.  All of the constant obstacles I encroach trying to get doctors to listen and realizing another failed treatment has taken its toll.  Why do I have to expend so much energy in order to feel better?  Why must I be my own advocate all of the time?  When will I come across people in the medical community that will stand up for me?