Apologies and Forgiveness

Posted by Unknown | Labels: blog dare, forgiveness

I'm pretty behind on this month's Bloggy Moms blog dare. I'm finally caught up to today's prompt, "I want to apologize...". I decided to repost an entry from the Wego Health Activist Blog Challenge back in April that touched on forgiveness. I hope you enjoy!

Pain and Anger: Lashing Out at Our Loved Ones

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Holiday Schmoliday

Posted by Unknown | Labels: blog challenge, blog dare, health, Holidays

The entire holiday season has me so ready for January 2nd. This November marked the one year anniversary of a very traumatic event in my life that almost killed me. I'm still trying to move past that and November represents a lot of grief, guilt, shame and trauma for me. Last year's Thanksgiving I had a lot to be grateful for but I was pretty bummed and confused and didn't feel like going through the motions of celebrating a holiday. I didn't care to so much this year either. Thanksgiving takes three days to prepare just for everyone to be done eating in 20 minutes. Afterward, my body is in shambles.

Christmas means putting more stress on my body to put up the tree and decorations. Then, trying to give the kids a decent Christmas morning with only one parent working and a measly check from Social Security every month that gets eaten up by bills stresses both me and my husband out. We do what we can, and I know that there are families out there who can't do anything at all. At the end of the day, we just want to make those who matter most to us happy and put smiles on the faces of our children. I know I can't give them everything they want but try to make up for it by creating special moments and memories that they will hold on to forever. Sometimes, due to a migraine or a flare up from the fibromyalgia, my ability to do those things are limited or halted all together. I just don't know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next and that creates a lot of anxiety and stress for me. So I wind up wishing for the holidays to be over so that I won't have to worry about whether or not I'll be able to enjoy them with my family or not. I got through last month and the Christmas tree and decorations are up. I had to spend most of yesterday in bed due to the pain my body was in from all the bending, stooping and reaching but the results were happy kids. That's what it's all about anyway, right?

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Stop It! Just Stop It!

Posted by Unknown | Labels: anxiety, blog challenge, blog dare, chronic migraine, depression, health

Yeah, that's what I'm usually screaming in my head at any given moment throughout the day. Whether its due to a migraine, a Fibromyalgia flare, the excruciating carpal tunnel in my hands or the negative speak of depression I'm telling something to quit harassing me. As it gets colder outside and winter weather starts to creep in, my bones ache more and my muscles spasm longer and harder. I quietly endure the pain and wish for it to stop, go away and never come back. Every morning when I wake up, I'm greeted with a migraine that most who have never had one would be sure to make them feel as if they were dying. To me it's mild enough to still get my kids off to school but frequent enough to wish for it to stop, go away and never come back. Daily, I battle and try to fend off negative brain chatter, anxious thoughts, and feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes I win them and other times I lose, but I always wish for them to stop, go away and never come back.

It would be nice to just deal with the physical illnesses alone. That's much easier for me to cope with than the mental illnesses. They have hurt me (and my family) more than all of my other conditions combined and cause more dysfunction in my life. Unfortunately, I'll be dealing with them for the rest of my life and will continue to have moments in time where they will be well managed and others when they will be harder to control. I watched this video on Upworthy about depression that was made by the World Health Organization or WHO. It really describes what it is like living with it with great accuracy. Please watch it and share it, especially if you live with depression and need help getting your loved ones and friends to understand what it is and how it affects you.

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When the doctor said...

Posted by Unknown | Labels: blog challenge, blog dare, bloggers, blogs, writing

Finding out something from the doctor is nothing new to me. Thankfully, I haven't gotten any new significant diagnoses over the past two years. I do, however, have had plenty in the past. As a health blogger, writing about my own chronic illnesses, I have quite a few posts on getting news from the doctor that I have a condition or illness. Here is an older post from a blog challenge I did back in April where I list the posts I've written on this topic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have had the pleasure of being diagnosed with several chronic illnesses, beginning at the age of eight with migraines. It's been quite a ride ever since then. Here are a few of my older blog posts that speak in detail about getting a new diagnosis. From chronic migraines to depression to fibromyalgia, each one felt like a blow from which I would never recover. And yet, I survive! To those of you who are newly diagnosed with any of the conditions that I also suffer from, do not panic and try not to worry. It is not the end of the world for you. Many, many people are in the same boat and are more than willing to help you through this new chapter in your life, myself included. My experiences may help give you insight on how to (or how not to) cope with the diagnosis of any new illness, condition or disease.

A Silent Sufferer - A childhood diagnosis of migraine disease and life thereafter.
Circle of Pain - The cyclical behavior of chronic pain and depression.
Stigma of Migraine and Suicide - The reality of suicide in migraine and chronic migraine patients.
My Pain Isn't Just Physical - Living with mental illness.
How Do You Handle A New Diagnosis? - Finding out I have fibromyalgia and the possibility of lupus.

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Date Night

Posted by Unknown | Labels: blog challenge, blog dare, bloggers, blogs, writing

Having a good time and leaving the house for some fun is always a good way to take our minds off of all the stress in our lives. I got a text from my husband early yesterday morning that he's going to take me out. To be honest, I was not feeling it at first because I had a bad migraine the night before and woke up with it. My eyes were heavy and I needed more sleep. My first instinct was to say no thank you and spend the day in bed, but then I reconsidered. I hadn't been out for a fun outing in weeks and really could benefit from leaving my cocoon. So, I said I'll need to nap for a bit first then I'd be ready.

After a nice hour and a half nap, I felt better. That afternoon, we went to see The Best Man Holiday. I loved the first one that came out 14 years ago and was excited to see that a sequel was finally made. I laughed, cried and laughed some more. We both enjoyed the movie very much. On the way home, we picked up some subs for the kids and ordered in some Greek favorites and picked up some wine for us to enjoy. We ate picnic style on our bed and watched television while the kids ate their subs in the kitchen.

Yesterday was a great distraction from the normal, every day stressors I and my husband deal with. I hope we do it more often.

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Chronic Illness? It's The Private Selection.

Posted by Unknown | Labels: blog challenge, blog dare, bloggers, blogs, writing

The Blog Dare on Bloggy Moms

One could compare living with chronic illness to living in a private gated community — for one (or a select few if you're lucky). I live in a great neighborhood filled with families. However, I do not know of anyone else who has similar health issues that limit their daily activities. What also makes it feel very isolating is not knowing of anyone around me who understands the pain, struggle, frustrations and complications of having depression and anxiety. There isn't anyone physically near me who I can talk to freely about how terrible thoughts and negative speak invade my mind and hold me hostage for days at a time. Unless you have a mental illness, no one really gets it. It would be nice to have someone close by who I can visit or who can visit me in times of need who deals with the same things as I do.

Being in a different state than my parents, in-laws and sister, I am pretty much left to fend for myself. I often wish I had the availability of family for days when I'm overwhelmed and incapacitated by pain. It would be so nice to have someone to do my grocery shopping for me when I can't or bring dinner by when I'm unable to cook or help with the kids when I'm in a bad funk and can't will myself out of the bed. More so, it would be nice just to have the company because I live a lonely life. My experiences have been limited to just myself and no one truly can relate to them. I do have many wonderful friends and acquaintances from online support groups and websites that get it, but it's not the same as having that physical support and interaction. For these reasons, I always feel pushed into a private existence.

That's how I relate my life to being a private selection, because of all the people I talk to who have similar lives, chronic illness makes you feel like the only person on the planet who has to live a life of pain. Logically, we know that we aren't alone and that there are millions of others out there in the world who are just like us. What feeds the loneliness is the fact that trying to connect with other people in our communities is difficult. There aren't local support groups or organizations readily available to the chronic pain patient community and resources are very limited. It starts in the doctor's office where many are told that their pain is "all in their heads". That immediately isolates and separates. You begin to not trust others with your pain and that makes reaching out that much more difficult and unappealing, creating a cycle of seeking acceptance, rejection and isolation. The cycle can be broken. It takes courage and dedication to do so. I try when I'm at my best and sometimes at my very worst. I'm a work in progress, seeking familiar ground where I am amongst the living.

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If I Don't Back Out...

Posted by Unknown | Labels: blog challenge, blog dare, bloggers, blogs, writing

The Blog Dare on Bloggy Moms

There are many, many things I could achieve and be successful at if I didn't back out, which is something I tend to do quite frequently. I struggle so much with confidence and self-esteem issues that I never feel adequate or smart enough to achieve my goals. Whether it is writing and maintaining my blog or trying out new endeavors, I tend to let progress fall by the wayside. It's never intentional. Many obstacles come about such as depression and illness that derail me from whatever path I'm pursuing at the moment. I usually get right back on when the issue passes but lately it's been at a stand still.

These writing prompts are giving me reasons to write again. The topics may not have to do with chronic migraines, depression or fibromyalgia. However, they are bringing me back to the world of blogging. I do have one particular idea in mind that I think will be fun to do and can be successful. It's in the planning phase and I will have help in putting it together. Instead of putting the pressure on myself to do it all in one sitting, I am taking my time and allowing myself to build up my confidence level to the point where I no longer feel discouraged. I don't plan on backing out. It just might take me some time to get to the finish line.

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How Migraines Changed Me

Posted by Unknown | Labels: chronic migraine, migraine

Having migraines definitely makes life a little bit more challenging. You can never seem to get used to the level and intensity of the pain that threatens to annihilate every part of your brain. No matter how long you have suffered from migraines, each attack knocks the wind out you. It even feels like the migraine is trying to snuff you out because the pain is so bad. As if it has a deadly vendetta against you. Experiencing these on a weekly basis for many, many years takes a huge toll on a person's psyche, body, and self-image. So, how has living with migraine and chronic migraine changed me?

I used to be more ambitious and motivated. I enjoyed travelling and going out. I was physically able to do more. I had more confidence and a better sense of self. On the surface it can appear to look like a fairly unobtrusive inconvenience. But underneath that, my brain and body are stuck in a horror movie. Living with this particular type of chronic pain makes me feel like I'm stuck in some kind of hell or in a twisted version of the movie Groundhog Day. Not much changes from day to day. I feel like at any moment my brain will hijack the day and keep me hostage in my bed and in the dark for all eternity. That provides a pretty significant level of anxiety because I am always concerned that something (a smell, food, noise, or change in weather) will bring on an attack. Then my day is ruined. Therefore, I go through each day as if walking on eggshells trying to avoid triggers as much as possible. Over the years, this has worn on my confidence and self-esteem. When I look in the mirror I don't see a strong and independent person. I see a sick and down-trodden individual who has lost her sense of self and who is lacking in the self-worth department.

Daily life with migraines has turned me into a recluse. I don't like to venture outside of my house because too many triggers exist in the world. I have controlled my environment indoors enough so that the exposure to most triggers is eliminated. Once I step outside, that barrier disappears. I'm exposed to fumes, loud noises, bright lights, chemicals, smoke, weather, etc. Driving is a big trigger, especially at night. The glare from oncoming traffic is the worst. Going to the store is not fun anymore. All of the fluorescent lighting and fumes coming off of the electronics make me light-headed, dizzy, nauseous and clammy. I can't go out for drinks because alcohol has become a huge trigger for me. I try to exercise but I always wind up with an exertion headache afterward that turns into a full blown migraine a few hours later. Going to the movies gives me terrible migraines so that's something I rarely do. Swimming in pools gives me migraines too so I spend summers by the poolside watching everyone else enjoy the cool water.

All of these interfering factors make me feel isolated from things that I should be able to enjoy. And since I am limited in what I can do, I have become a tad bitter. But mostly, it makes me sad and knowing that I can't enjoy these things anymore is a big disappointment. I have had migraines for as long as I can remember but I used to be able to do way more and enjoy more in life. I hope to one day be able to live like I want to. Whether that will happen soon, I don't know and I'm not expecting for it to be that way anyway. My life will always be different and lived with limits. It's learning how to live the fullest life within those limits that will empower and uplift me.

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Sleepy Head

Posted by Unknown | Labels: chronic pain, migraine, parenting

I'm in quite a bit of pain today. Getting out of the bed feels like a huge challenge. My pain is around a 7 right now and is on it's way up the pain scale as I type this. As soon as my boys got on their bus for school, I went back to sleep and slept until one o'clock. I really didn't want to get up because my head hurts so badly but I feel like a bad mom when I'm in the bed all day. It's not like I'm being lazy. I legitimately hurt and am fatigued because of it. This has been what my week has been like thanks to the spike in the heat and humidity. Tomorrow it will cool down and be in the 70's which will give my head a much needed break. That I'm looking forward to. It's a little after two in the afternoon here and my daughter will be home from school soon. So, on that note, I will try and get up and get something to eat before she gets here and make myself look somewhat presentable. Although my kids understand my pain and the toll it takes on me, I still want to be available to them when they arrive home from school. Even if it's in a limited capacity. I'm going to head to the shower and hopefully that'll give me a little boost. Take care and I hope that those reading this who live with chronic pain are having a low pain day.

An old photo of me in the bed with a migraine but it shows exactly how I feel today.

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Raw and Real

Posted by Unknown | Labels: anxiety, chronic pain, depression

Boy have I been off of my game. I have barely been blogging for quite some time now. Every day I want to get to my laptop or desktop and start writing about whatever it is that I'm feeling, thinking, or doing. I want to nurture and cultivate my writing and to bring new, intriguing and honest content to my readers. Yet, something always stops me. That would be insecurity, self-doubt, a lack of confidence, and mostly feelings of unimportance. I don't find much worth in my words or my story, therefore, I don't expect and assume that anyone else would either. My life is pretty stagnant and nothing big, exciting, or major happens to me or my family. We don't go on vacations or get visits from family or friends to write about. My husband works all the time to bring more money into the house and I stay home, hardly ever leaving the house for days at a time. The amount of stress and responsibility on him is tremendous and I feel guilty about it all the time.

Going to the grocery store is the most I usually do and that's never exciting. I hate it. I'm very isolated and don't go out. It's been almost one year since my hospitalization last November and in all truth, I've been super depressed ever since. Instead of things feeling like they've been getting better, it feels like they've been going downhill fast. Money is super tight and bills are always due. I don't work and I feel helpless a lot of the time when it comes to our financial situation. I'm scared of everything. I have disabling anxiety that makes it impossible for me to do much. Interacting with people is scary. Especially since I haven't done much with my life except get married and have children. I don't have a college degree nor did I ever have a career. I'm embarrassed and feel inadequate as a woman. All of the women I know have jobs, financial security, self-confidence, and education. Therefore, I don't go around them because they remind me of what I'm not or do not have. There is no one in my life who is anywhere similar to me and what I live with. It's a lonely place to dwell in. I have no backbone. I'd rather do nothing than try something and fail at it. I have a lot of ideas but am too afraid to act on them. I'm overweight and hate my body. I want to lose weight but I don't try to. Why? For one, exercise makes me hurt. Either my fibromyalgia flares up, the arthritis in my feet makes me feel like I'm walking on glass, or I get a migraine. Two, food is my friend and it's the only thing that makes me feel happy. It doesn't make me feel bad or question me. I'm an emotional eater and food comforts me. The fact that I'm depressed every single day fuels my food addiction.

I'm sad that pain has taken over my life. I don't think that I'll ever get over the fact that I tried to commit suicide twice. Once was hard enough to get past and I swore that I wouldn't do it again and I meant it. But the personality changes from the antidepressant I was on at the time of the second attempt changed all of that. I'm angry, embarrassed, ashamed, and paranoid that everyone thinks I'm weak and fragile and sees me as the "suicidal girl". It haunts me almost daily. I've been beat up, chewed up and spit out relentlessly over the past eleven years. I'm worn out and tired. I have no fight left nor do I care to fight anymore. It feels like I haven't caught a break in ever. Life isn't meant to be fair, but damn! Couldn't it give just a little? I'm barely living. I'm just trying to survive and hang in there for my kids and my husband. I'm not being the best wife or mother I could be and I'm becoming a hollow version of myself. I try to be what I know I can be for them but I'm not happy with the person I grew up to be and the life experiences I've had. I know that they are supposed to make you stronger but it's worn me thin. I feel transparent... like a human form of plastic wrap. This is all too much to try and hide from everyone.

My life isn't easy having physical, mental and emotional roadblocks to overcome on a daily basis. Yeah, I smile and look happy but underneath it all I'm shattered. I really want to delete this and not post it because it's embarrassing for me to write this, but I'm going to be brave and post it anyway. Maybe it will help someone who will read it. I just managed to get up a little bit of nerve to be raw and real and give everyone a glimpse of the insecurities I live with. Will it get better, I don't know. As of now, at this point in my life, I don't really have much optimism but that can surely change as most things do.

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30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

Posted by Unknown | Labels: chronic migraine, headaches, Migraines, National Invisible Chronic Illness Week

I originally did this two years ago and some things have changed. I updated my answers for this years Invisible Illness Awareness week, which is September 9-15th.

1. The illness I live with is Chronic Migraine.
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year 1986.
3. But I had symptoms since I was between one and two years old.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is being a mom despite being in pain.
5. Most people assume that an Excedrin Migraine will take my pain away.
6. The hardest part about mornings are getting out of bed in pain to get the kids ready for school.
7. My favorite medical TV show is Grey's Anatomy.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is my iPhone.
9. The hardest part about nights is waking up in pain often.
10. Each day I take 6 vitamins/supplements. I no longer take prescription medications. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I have tried acupuncture, massage therapy, hydro colon therapy (HCT), acupressure, meditation, chiropractic care, and naturopath/homeopathic treatments.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose neither.

13. Regarding working and career, it's an impossibility right now.
14. People would be surprised to know that I suffer from depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, RLS (restless leg syndrome), carpal tunnel syndrome, and arthritis too.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been not being able to have a "normal" life.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was raise money for research.

17. The commercials about my illness make treating migraine look as simple as taking an OTC medication.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is taking ballet class.

19. It was really hard to have to give up control of what my day would be like.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is blogging.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would dance.
22. My illness has taught me resilience and humility.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is how they had a migraine once and took an Excedrin Migraine or Advil Migraine and it went away and never came back and asking if I tried that.
24. But I love it when people show genuine care and compassion.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them I know it's hard but never give up.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is my strength.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was drive me to urgent care.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because I want people to know my illness exists.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel seen and validated.

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Penne and Turkey Kielbasa

Posted by Unknown | Labels: food, healthy recipes, quick and easy recipes, recipes

When I'm not really in the mood to cook and need something quick and easy, I make this go-to recipe I put together one day with stuff I had in the pantry and fridge. It's also super delicious and always goes fast in my house! Finding recipes that are easy to make are a necessity in a chronic illness household. Since this one is such a hit with my family (and really inexpensive to make), I wanted to share it with you. This recipe makes enough to feed 8-10 people.

Penne and Turkey Kielbasa

2 packages turkey kielbasa, cut into half moon slices

1 green pepper, sliced*

1 medium onion, sliced*

1 jar pasta sauce (Prego lends the most flavor)

1 8 oz. package fresh or frozen broccoli or spinach (or any other vegetable you like)

1 box penne

1-2 tbsp olive oil

*You can easily substitute frozen peppers and onions for the fresh. No chopping required!

Bring a large pot of water to a boil and cook penne according to directions on the package. Add in vegetable during last 5 minutes of cooking time. Drain pasta and vegetables, reserving 1/2 cup of the pasta water.

Heat a large skillet over medium high heat and add oil. Saute peppers and onions until peppers are soft and onions are translucent, about 8 minutes. Add in kielbasa and cook another 5-6 minutes. Stir in pasta, vegetables, reserved pasta water, and jar of pasta sauce. Cover and cook on low for 10 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste, if needed (I usually don't need to add any). Serve with a side salad or some crusty bread. A hearty and healthy meal the whole family will enjoy!

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The Natural Way

Posted by Unknown | Labels: big chop, natural hair

Back in December, as I was transitioning into a new health care regime that did not involve prescription medication, I decided to extend that into hair and beauty care. As Black woman, I have had my hair relaxed since I was 11. That is, my hair has been chemically processed to straighten my natural curls. For years now, I have noticed that after every re-touch, I would get a severe migraine. I have been wanting to cut my hair down super short and go natural for years but didn't have the courage to. It's a big commitment and a huge decision. After my hospitalization it was a no-brainer to do the big chop.

I have learned to love my natural hair and wished I ditched the relaxer a whole lot sooner. The empowerment in cutting off my hair was amazing to me. I was not expecting for the act of it to be so powerful or to have so much meaning. I feel so much closer to my roots and have learned to accept myself in my natural state. It's a bit challenging trying to find the right products for my type of hair and curl pattern, but I'm loving the journey! From color and coils to a weave to protect my growing curly 'fro... Here's a look at my hair evolution!

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Migraine Research Opportunity - Participation Limited!

Posted by Unknown | Labels: migraine research, migraine.com

Your opinion counts (and here's $10 to prove it).

We have been asked to conduct a market research study regarding a migraine treatment product. Participants that meet the criteria will be given a $10 Amazon Gift Card for their time, but participation is limited to a first-come, first-served basis.

The survey should take less than five to ten minutes and participation is optional.

We take your privacy seriously. Your e-mail address has not been, and will not be, provided to the sponsor of this research.

About Migraine.com Market Research
In addition to our own surveys which we conduct from time to time, like Migraine In America and Chronic Migraine In America, Migraine.com also occasionally conducts paid research studies for companies interested in learning more about how patients and/or consumers feel about their products or services.

Please know that:

We will always let you know when a survey is for a market research sponsor.
Participation in market research is completely optional.
Those who participate in the surveys will be paid an honorarium for their time. What the honorarium is will be clearly stated up front.
Participants may need to meet certain criteria to participate in a survey and receive the honorarium. These criteria will be included as the first few questions of the survey, so it is possible that one might start the survey and not meet the criteria.
Participant’s personal information will never be shared with the sponsor. I.e. they will not see or be given access to your e-mail address, and we will never tell the sponsor “Susan Smith said...” but rather results are presented in aggregated form like “63% of respondents said...”
Research opportunities are limited to a set number of participants, and participation is on a first-come, first-served basis. If you try to participate and you are too late, we’re sorry about that, but we need to limit the number of respondents.

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CBT and Negative Thinking

Posted by Unknown | Labels: anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy, depression, mental illness, negative thinking

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and what is it used for? CBT is a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the important role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. Cognitive-behavioral therapists seek to learn what their clients want out of life (their goals) and then help their clients achieve those goals. The therapist's role is to listen, teach, and encourage, while the client's roles is to express concerns, learn, and implement that learning. CBT is used in a wide variety of mental illnesses including mood disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, personality disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse disorders, sleep disorders and psychotic disorders. It has also been shown to be useful to patients suffering from chronic pain disorders.

One aspect of CBT is addressing negative thinking patterns and changing those behaviors into more positive and productive ways of thinking and living. The first step in letting go of negative thinking is identifying it. There are several types of negative thinking. The following list can help you pinpoint which types of negative thinking you tend to partake in and is also an easy way of remembering them.

1. All-or-nothing thinking: Looking at things in absolute, black-and-white categories, instead of on a continuum. For example, if something is less than perfect, one sees it as a total failure.

2. Overgeneralization: Viewing a negative event as a part of a never-ending pattern of negativity while ignoring evidence to the contrary. You can often tell if you’re overgeneralizing if you use words such as never, always, all, every, none, no one, nobody, or everyone.

3. Mental filter: Focusing on a single negative detail and dwelling it on it exclusively until one’s vision of reality becomes darkened.

4. Magnification or minimization (e.g., magnifying the negative and minimizing the positive): Exaggerating the importance of one’s problems and shortcomings. A form of this is called “catastrophizing” in which one tells oneself that an undesirable situation is unbearable, when it is really just uncomfortable or inconvenient.

5. Discounting the positive: Telling oneself that one’s positive experiences, deeds, or personal qualities don’t count in order to maintain a negative belief about oneself. Or doing this to someone else.

6. Mind reading: Concluding what someone is thinking without any evidence, not considering other possibilities, and making no effort to check it out.

7. Fortune telling: Anticipating that things will turn out badly, and feeling convinced that the prediction is an already established fact. It often involves: (A) overestimating the probability of danger, (B) exaggerating the severity of the consequences should the feared event occur, and (C) underestimating one’s ability to cope should the event occur. B and C are also examples of catastrophizing.

8. Emotional reasoning: Assuming that one’s negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are (e.g., “Because I feel it, it must be true.” “I feel stupid, therefore I am stupid”).

9. Rigid rules (perfectionism). Having a precise, fixed idea of how oneself or others should behave, and overestimating how bad it is when these expectations are not met. Often phrased as "should" or “must” statements.

10. Unfair judgments: Holding oneself personally responsible for events that aren't (or aren’t entirely) under one’s control, or blaming other people and overlooking ways in which one might have also contributed to the problem.

11. Name-calling: Putting an extremely negative and emotionally-loaded label on oneself or others. It is an extreme form of magnification and minimization, and also represents a gross overgeneralization.

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Finding Reasons to Smile

Posted by Unknown | Labels: anxiety, chronic pain, depression

Everybody needs a reason to smile. Especially those who struggle daily with daily chronic pain and frequent bouts of depression and anxiety. For the past nine months, finding reasons to smile or to be happy have been really difficult. The struggle with trying to find relief for my pain combined with emotional stress has impaired my ability to believe that I ever will genuinely smile again. I do have moments of happiness but they tend to be few and far in between.

In the morning, I should wake up happy that I am alive and breathing. Instead, I wake up in a fit of anxiety after a night of anxiety-filled dreams. All of my worries manifest themselves in my dreams. They continue to haunt me throughout the day and resume after I close my eyes at night. This has lead to a very long bout of depression because I can not seem to find my way out of the anxiety. I so would have preferred that depression and anxiety were never an issue for me. I can handle the physical pain. That is a piece of cake compared to the emotional anguish and paralysis that mental illness can bring.

Slowly I have been crawling out of the darkness. I know that it's only temporary but this has been the longest I've been stuck in it. I'm trying not to let things or circumstances fuel my anxiety. Since many things are out of my control, I can control to not let it rule me. That is a choice I can smile about. That is my silver lining for today and I will continue to find them in the days to follow. I expect them to keep me motivated and more positive in my outlook on life. I'm sure there will be times when finding them will be little harder, but in the end, I'm optimistic that I will find peace within myself.

FB Chat Smiling

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Think Before You Donate

Posted by Unknown |

THINK BEFORE YOU DONATE

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU MAKE CONTRIBUTIONS:

As you open your pockets to do a good thing and make yourself feel good, please keep the following facts in mind:

The American Red Cross
President and CEO Marsha J. Evans'

salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses

MARCH OF DIMES
It is now called the March of Dimes because

only a dime for every 1 dollar is given to the needy.

The United Way
President Brian Gallagher

receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits.

UNICEF
CEO Caryl M. Stern receives

$1,200,000 per year (100k permonth) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE.

Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause.

GOODWILL
CEO and owner Mark Curran profits $2.3 million a year.
Goodwill is a very catchy name for his business.

You donate to his business and then he sells the items for PROFIT.
He pays nothing for his products and pays his workers minimum wage! Nice Guy.
$0.00 goes to lp anyone!
Stop ing to this man.

Instead, give it to ANY OF THE FOLLOWING GO "GREEN" AND PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE IT WILL DO SOME GOOD. (Some of these are U.S. only but not all.)

The Salvation Army Commissioner, Todd Bassett receives a small salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.	The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!	The Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander receives a$0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!	The Disabled American Veterans National Commander receives a$0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!	The Military Order of Purple Hearts National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!
The Vietnam Veterans AssociationNational Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!	Make a Wish:For children's last wishes. 100% goes to funding trips or special wishes for a dying child.	St. Jude Research Hospital 100% goes towards funding and helping Children with Cancer who have no insurance and can not afford to pay.	Ronald McDonald Houses All monies go to running the houses for parents who have critical Children in the hospital. 100% goes to housing, and feeding the families.	Lions Club International 100% OF DONATIONS GO TO HELP THE BLIND,BUY HEARING AIDES, SUPPORT MEDICAL MISSIONS AROUND THE WORLD. THEIR LATEST UNDERTAKING IS MEASLES VACCINATIONS (ONLY $1.00 PER SHOT).

Please share this with everyone you can!

Thank you Barbara Mills for this information!

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Loss and Guilt

Posted by Unknown | Labels: grief, loss

It's been quite some time since I've written anything and I feel really bad about that. I told myself that I wouldn't let so much time go in between posts and what do you know? I did it anyway. Well, so much has happened since my last post. In early June, my dear cousin passed away. He was in a motorcycle accident. I was devastated and got really depressed. What made it harder to come to terms with it is not being able to attend the funeral. My youngest was graduating from grade school the same day. We were able to drive up to see my aunt and uncle afterward but it wasn't quite the same because I wasn't able to say goodbye to him. I wasn't able to get that closure. Growing up, all of my first cousins and my sisters were close. A lot of us were more like brothers and sisters to each other. We were each other's first best friends.

His sudden death brought up a lot of guilt for me also. With my hospitalization last November that had me on the brink of death, I felt so guilty for the fear my family felt about the possibility of losing me. Although I didn't intentionally try to end my life, I was almost successful at it and that is a big, hard bitter pill to swallow. I almost felt like I didn't have the right to show my face around my aunt and uncle because they lost a child through an accident. He had not tried to kill himself. I, on the other hand, did. Twice. Who am I to bring myself around my family knowing that about myself? I am still struggling with all of this.

As a result of all of these feelings, I didn't have a lot of motivation nor confidence to write. But today, I feel like I can start again. It's taken me almost two months but I finally got the urge to share. I dedicate this post to my dearly departed cousin, Lloyd Jason Edmondson. I miss you and love you with all of my heart.

June 22, 1980 - June 9, 2013

It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control. Letting go means standing still and letting the world, or a piece of it, crumble at your feet while saying to yourself, "Mmmm, that's interesting!" - Iyanla Vanzant

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10 Signs Your Child Might Have Migraines

Posted by Unknown | Labels: pediatric migraines

10 signs your child might have migraines

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Beating the Blues - Taking Mental Health Tools Online

Posted by Unknown |

Mental Health America, U Squared Interactive Announce Strategic Partnership toProvide Online, Evidence-Based Tools for Mental Health Issues“Beating the Blues” Offers Computerized Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Contact: Steve Vetzner, (703) 797-2588 or svetzner@mentalhealthamerica.net

ALEXANDRIA, Va. (May 21, 2013)—Mental Health America (MHA) and U Squared Interactive (U2) today announced a collaborative, private/nonprofit partnership to provide Americans online, evidence-based tools they can use to address challenging mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

U2 has developed a computerized cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) program, Beating the Blues, which specifically addresses this urgent national need. People will be able to get complimentary access to Beating the Blues US® by making a donation to the work of MHA between now and the MHA 2013 Annual Conference, June 5-8, 2013. To make a donation, go to http://mentalhealthamerica.net/go/may/beatingtheblues.

Depression and anxiety conditions are estimated to affect over 60 million Americans and cost the U.S. economy more than $105 billion in lost productivity every year. Despite the great efforts of health care providers and policy makers, there are simply not enough therapists or funding available to provide access to evidence-based solutions to meet the growing need.

“We are pleased to join in this effort that will deliver an important tool that will empower consumers and help them chart their path to recovery,” said Wayne W. Lindstrom, Ph.D., president and CEO of MHA. “It builds on our long history of removing obstacles and expanding access to care.”

John Smith, Chief Operating Officer at U2 added: “As the oldest advocacy agency in the US, MHA has demonstrated a long standing ability to bring about positive change in the ways in which mental health care has been delivered, and we are delighted to be forming this strategic partnership to help influence both policy makers, health care practice and recipients of care.” He added, “We want as many people as possible to benefit from this opportunity to get access to our evidence-based CBT program and ask that people circulate the link to the MHA site.”

Beating the Blues has treated over 300,000 people worldwide with 22 peer-reviewed and published studies that demonstrate its effectiveness at treating mild and moderate depression and anxiety conditions. In the US it is already deployed in large integrated delivery health systems, health insurers, behavioral health organizations, employers, and within the Department of Veterans Affairs and Defense Department.

The initial objectives of the strategic partnership will be to:

Raise national awareness of the importance of mental health screening and follow up
Encourage use of Beating the Blues for those in need
Offer information and resources through the MHA community network
Promote and share best practices with American consumers

About MHA –Mental Health America (www.mentalhealthamerica.net), founded in 1909, is the nation’s leading community-based network dedicated to helping all Americans achieve wellness by living mentally healthier lives. With our 240 affiliates across the country, we touch the lives of millions—Advocating for changes in mental health and wellness policy; Educating the public & providing critical information; and delivering urgently needed mental health and wellness Programs and Services.

About U2 Interactive - U2 Interactive's mission is to support all healthcare stakeholder communities in creating innovative and cost effective computer based solutions for everyday health problems, lifestyle issues, and long-term conditions. U2 Interactive believes in delivering evidenced based treatment via interactive and easy to use software programs.

U2 is jointly owned by UPMC & Ultrasis PLC and head quartered in Pittsburgh, PA.

About Beating The BluesUS® - is the American version of Beating the Blues, a computerized CBT program that has treated over 300,000 people worldwide. There are 22 peer-reviewed and published studies that demonstrate its effectiveness at treating mild and moderate depression and anxiety conditions. In the US it is already deployed in large integrated delivery health systems, health insurers, behavioral health organizations, employers and within the VA and DoD.

Original content post on Mental Health America's website: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/index.cfm?objectID=C3C6A995-AB90-9734-17849CAC863A4AC8

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