Migraine and Suicide

Posted by Unknown | Labels: Migraines

I just read an article written by a fellow migraineur about how suicide can be and has been a product of migraine attacks. We know that migraine can be comorbid with anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder which can overload an already emotionally stressed individual with migraine. It pans out to be a catch 22 of sorts. For example, the following statistics show how there can be a higher rate of suicide among migraine sufferers:

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States based on national statistics in 2007, with an annual rate of approximately 11.5 per 100,000
Migraine disease on the other hand, is the 12th most disabling disorder in the United States and affects more than 37 million people
Americans who have Migraine with aura are three times more likely to attempt suicide compared to those with no migraine, whether or not major depression is also present

Suicide can seem like an only way out when one is experiencing constant debilitating pain with no successful treatment. It's very common for those of us whose life consists of these daily migraine attacks to feel like we're at a loss. We feel beat up, chewed up and spit out by this disease. Hopelessness often can creep into our daily thoughts. Although we may have supporters, many do not. And since we suffer from an invisible illness - we look like healthy, normal people to everyone else - it makes dealing with it that much harder. We begin to feel transparent. I often feel that way. Migraine to me is an unrecognizable burden that I carry, which makes the depression and anxiety ever more prevalent. Lately, I find myself up at night in pain and in tears feeling like there is no way that I can go through another day like this. I feel tired. I feel worn out. I feel used up. It does become a challenge sometimes to push through those feelings, but it gets hard when I feel bombarded by every emotion a human being is capable of feeling.

Seven years ago I attempted suicide. It was a very difficult time in my life and migraine was a big part of it. I remember feeling like everyone else would be better off without me in their life. I also wanted the pain to end; the emotional and physical pain that I was experiencing. I wound up in the ICU for two days heavily sedated and feeling worse than before I was admitted. The guilt tore at my conscious every minute of the day. It took a lot of counseling and being on an antidepressant to help get me back on track. Yet, even though I know what the cost of suicide can be, that doesn't stop the thought of it going through my mind on those tough days and nights. I've been riding the constant emotional roller coaster of pain for 25 years and have been given false hope time and time again. I don't want to put my body or mind through anymore unsuccessful treatments. It's daunting to feel as if there will never be a long-term treatment for me.

Still, I go on. I continue to go to counseling and take Wellbutrin for my depression and Celexa for my anxiety. I've found some great people like me who share my story and that helps to get me out of the darkness of isolation that migraine can subject someone to. Suicide is a very real possibility and more people should talk about it. Having those feelings are nothing to be ashamed about. It's when you don't speak about it that it becomes a very dangerous reality. I'm sure that there are many people out there who have attempted unsuccessfully to commit suicide but are ashamed to talk about it. Just know that you aren't alone. Anyone with a chronic illness is susceptible to this. Know this...we see you and we understand you. Stay strong and fight and keep your eye on the light at the end of your tunnel, no matter how small it may be.

Take care.

Sources:

Shapiro, Robert E., MD, PhD. "Headache Disorders in the United States." Alliance for Headache Disorders Advocacy. 2007.

American Association of Suicidology. Suicide in the U.S.A. Based on Current (2007) Statistics

Migraine and Suicide - Migraine